The Mother of all Morning Sickness

February 15, 2017

The Mother of all Morning Sickness

It’s been oh so quiet here on my poor abandoned crumbling blog…and not so much in my overworked toxic waste collecting bathroom.

I look back now and it seems so long ago, a distant and hazy (well perhaps consciously blocked) memory.

Morning Sickness. Morning Sickness from hell.

Who coined the term ‘morning’, because I need to speak with them about that. That would have been so nice, morning only. No, this was the most all consuming, debilitating, constant nausea and vomiting I have ever experienced in a pregnancy yet. All the bloody time.

Imagine your worst ever hang over – and not being able to escape it for about 5 months. Sad face.

Except this is supposed to be surrounded with joy and cheer, “Congratulations, a new baby is on the way!!” but I just felt like I was dying. Ugh.

Yes, I am Pregnant. Pregnant with a capital P, with the strongest morning sickness hormones I have ever experienced, raging completely out of control, taking over my whole life. Thank goodness that chapter is over!

So our little family of four will soon become a party five. I am very excited, I love children and I love adding to my nest.

But this was not the case 8 dreadfully long months ago.

I felt sick, I felt old, I felt tired and I still feel like I can never ever do that again. I would have loved to have had 4 or even 5 children but this pregnancy has scarred me for life. Meanwhile hubby is secretly quite relieved.

Here are some highlights from the worst of it, if you can stomach the read…

Week 4: Hubby is at work and I can’t move out of bed. In the distance I can hear children so I know they are still alive, and from the mess he finds later it’s apparent they have eaten – we are all barely surviving.

Evidence they are somewhat fed…

Week 5: I feel like rapunzel locked away in her castle except the long hair is replaced by my leg & eyebrow hair that has not been waxed or groomed for so long it’s reached epic proportions and the knight in shining armour is my husband coming home just in time to change the horrific poo smell coming from the youngest one. Smells = vomit(s)

Week 6: I’m slowly being tortured by the baby growing inside of me, it’s sucking the absolute life out of me and it feels like it’s killing me from the inside out while the ready made children are doing the exact same thing, except killing me from the outside in.

Welcome to week 7; do not pass go, do collect any food and go directly to hospital – for a drip(s). Not keeping down anything…even sips of water. WTF, it’s only week 7!  Interestingly I overhear a conversation in hospital between 2 doctors about a woman who has been rushed to the birthing suite going into labor at 7 months pregnant, yet she is completely unaware that she is in fact pregnant. Who the f@!k is this lady?! Here I am dying right from the first few weeks of conception and VERY aware of each minute of this pregnancy! Kill me now.

At least it’s quiet in hospital

Week 8: vomiting strawberry milk on the children’s feet whilst showering with them was interesting…

Week 9: I walk past the kitchen and my nose is greeted with the wafting odour of chicken schnitzels and crumbed prawns being cooked. Normally such a welcomed smell. This time, it provokes an instant vomit. Argh. Kill me again.

Week 10: It’s my birthday! (insert sarcasm) I can’t even look at my phone to reply to all the birthday messages coming through as the scrolling motion gives me vertigo, and then I vomit. I can’t even look at the walls in our house because the pattern of the double brick also spins me out and brings on the big V. Happy Bloody Birthday. Yes it was wonderful, thanks for asking…

Week 11: So far I’ve lost weight, I can’t eat, I’m bedridden, the morning sickness medication does not work, my hair is a hot mess and I don’t trust myself to even kiss the children goodnight before they go to bed. Not without repercussions if you get what I mean…How the heck am I going to get through the next 29 weeks!

Fast forward to week 30… What a great time to start a full on house renovation!

Enter builders, plumbers, sparkies, carpet/aircon/painter/security/kitchen guys, did I miss anyone?? at 7:30 am everyday for 6 weeks! Oh, and exit husband for seasonal work, impeccable timing!

Goodbye old kitchen…

This created one hell of a mess which became depressing and exhausting trying to clean up at the end of each day to even be able to sit down somewhere clean(ish) without dust. We had no kitchen, no water, limited power; the will to cook food was at an all time low because it meant I had to clean the dust & grime off of all of the plates/cutlery/makeshift table before even starting etc then attempt washing up in our tiny ensuite sink afterwards while juggling a huge protruding baby bump and 2 children who thought all the tradies power tools were there solely for their enjoyment/entertainment. Not the most fun ever.

…hello temporary kitchen and truckloads of filth

Thankfully it’s mostly all done now with mainly minor last minute details to finish and with a baby due in just under a month it couldn’t have come at a more welcome time. The chance to relax and and enjoy the new space will be pretty nice too before the baby comes along.

Oh, one last final insult to the last stages of this pregnancy…being diagnosed with gestational diabetes. That’s right, now that I can eat, I can’t eat. Finger pricks, blood testing, carb counting, food diaries, remembering what time I ate…one last slap in the face before this baby is born.


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